Cathy Mongielo, “An Autobiography”

06 Jul 2009 3 Comments

by leofigini in Fun

One of First Trinity’s many programs is Kingdom Quest.  It is a Sunday School program for 1st through 5th graders.  Cathy Mongielo has been a part of the team which puts together this program every Sunday.  She first started in the program as the supply coordinator and eventually became the Director.  In my quest (no pun intended) for more interesting stories about all the great members of FT that make us what we are today, my mind wandered over to the Sunday School programs and Cathy became very obvious to me as my next target story to write about.

When I contacted her, I asked her to give me a brief background on her upbringing, family, church affiliations, husband and kids, schools, jobs etc which always makes for great reading.   I would then write up a nice post informing everyone about Kingdom Quest and the Director responsible for putting together such a wonderful program each and every week. (Cathy took over this past year for Tracy Bramwell who was the fantastic director for many years.)

Well, much to my surprise and delight, I received nothing short of her life history from birth to present.  It is so detailed and precise, and much too long for one post, that I, after struggling with what to do with all of it, have decided to make it a series on the “Life and Times of Cathy Mongielo“  Today is Part 1 in the series.  I have posted it exactly as she wrote it because it is so good, I feared I would ruin its content if I tried to modify it in any way.  So here we go, a first in a series:

Born as the only daughter in a family with three brothers I arrived into this world on July 25, 1960 to Ralph and Elaine Wolf. I grew up at 212 Wendel Ave., Kenmore, NY. My dad was always in grocery sales starting at Acme Markets, later opening his own small grocery store on Oliver Street in North Tonawanda called Ralph’s Clover Farms, then eventually moving into partner ownership with his brother of Wilson Farms on Englewood, East Delavan, and Bailey Avenue. One of my earliest memories with my dad is going to the Acme Market, sitting in a cardboard box, and riding the conveyor belt from the place where the deliveries came in all the way down into a basement storage area. What fun this was!

            I went to Abraham Lincoln Elementary School directly across the street from my house. Back then kids were allowed to leave school and come home for lunch which I did every day. I can still remember my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Steiger, who was by far the kindest, most loving teacher in all of my schooling years. We had a parade every Friday where all the kids would march around the classroom banging on drums, tambourines, triangles, and many other musical instruments making nothing less than pure chaotic noise. However, she always made us feel like we were making beautiful music.

            I was raised Roman Catholic and attended Blessed Sacrament Church from birth until I was 18. I made my First Holy Communion at age 7, and my Confirmation at age 11. I attended religious instruction classes once a week from first through sixth grade where we were actually dismissed one hour early from public school just so that we could walk down the street to go to religion classes at the church. Mostly, the nuns taught these classes, and no one wanted to cross them. In my early years, girls were not allowed to attend church without a head covering so I had these lace coverings (white ones and black ones) that I would pin on my head. To me they just looked like doilies. I sure was glad when they changed those rules! I attended a middle school youth group for a short period of time, however I never felt like I fit in so that didn’t last too long. Most of my childhood, I can remember being “sent” to church by my parents, but they didn’t regularly attend with me. At the time I thought that was just the way it was supposed to be, but in retrospect I wonder how it got to be that way.

            My mom and I have always had a close relationship. Being the only girl in the family created a special bond between us early on. We did many things together like camping, fishing, and bike riding. I remember Mom and I going on a long, long bike ride one time where we ended up on Tonawanda Street between Amherst and Niagara Streets. On this part of the street there are some railroad tracks and one of my bike tires got caught in the tracks and down I went. Scraped, bruised, and bloody I still had to ride my bike all the way back home which was several miles away. I guess things like that are what makes life memorable, though, because if the ride had just gone off without anything dramatic I probably would never have remembered this event with my mom.

            My middle school years became a bit unsteady when my parents began to have marital problems which eventually ended up in divorce. Then, my grandfather passed away ( my mom’s dad) so Grandma Trietley came to live with us. I loved my grandmother so very much and truthfully she adored me as well. There was something very special between her and me that no one could take away. No matter what I did, big or small, Grandma was there cheering me on and enjoying every moment of my life. I used to make up little dances and “perform” them for her in my living room. She would smile, clap, and act like it was the best performance she had ever seen. She taught me a lot of stuff like sewing and crocheting, but I think one of the most important lessons Grandma taught me was to look for the best in people. She always enjoyed people no matter who they were or what they were like, and she would see the positive attributes in them. She was a beautiful woman who died in 1995 at the age of 93; I just know God was smiling wildly when he welcomed her home that day!

            I went to High School at Kenmore East; however high school was probably my least favorite of all my growing up years. As a quieter person, it was easy to get lost and my circle of friends was small, nevertheless a life changing event did happen while in high school. In late fall of my senior year I began working at Wilson Farms on Englewood Avenue. It was a good first job experience beyond the babysitting I’d been doing since I was about ten, plus my uncle owned it so it was easy to get the job. Anyway, there was this cute boy who would come in occasionally to buy milk, bread, and cigarettes for his mother. Then, he started coming in several times a week until it became almost a daily occurrence that he would show up in the store, sometimes not buying anything at all. Every time he would stop by the store, my heart would drop to my stomach and I would get to feeling all flustered. Well, one day he stopped in and popped the inevitable question, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” That was all it took, a budding romance had begun with Mark my one day future husband. I still recall our very first date on January 16, 1978 where we went to the movies to see “Saturday Night Fever” with John Travolta and went to Denny’s for something to eat afterward. To this very day, Mark and I still celebrate the anniversary of our first date together.

            Over the next 3 1/2 years, many changes took place. I began attending church with Mark’s family at Church of the Advent, an Episcopal church on Delaware Road in Kenmore. For the first time I began to feel like I belonged to a church family, that I wasn’t just another body in a pew. Eventually, I became a member of his church and attended services there regularly for the next 25 years (with the exception of a period of time when I did not live in Buffalo). During these years at Advent, I led the middle school youth group for many years, assisted with VBS, and became a member of the vestry for a three year term. The vestry is like the voting body in Episcopal churches that make large decisions on a variety of issues within the church. I also was a member of the call committee when our pastor left, and we had to replace him which took over two years to do so. Being on a call committee is one of those things that is long, tedious, frustrating, eye opening, and helps a person truly appreciate the process and responsibility in being a part of this type of commitment. It was a tremendous responsibility which I took very seriously at the time. I must admit this was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make at this church. However, sadly enough, in the end the reason I left Church of the Advent is because of the person who was chosen while I was on the call committee. I will always wonder if there was something I could have done differently that might have changed the outcome for this beautiful church.

After graduation from high school, I got a job as a hostess and waitress at this restaurant in Cheektowaga called Passport Europe. It was an ethnic restaurant specializing in German cuisine like potato dumplings, bohemian dumplings, bratwurst, knockwurst, and of course German beer too. The owners were straight from Germany and they had some awesome recipes for very delicious food.  I would wear these old fashioned German dirndls. I wish I had a picture to share. When Passport Europe closed, I got a job as a waitress/hostess at the Holiday Inn by the airport which I stayed at until the summer of 1982. The restaurant business is a fun and exciting business to be a part of; meeting all kinds of people was a joy and during this time is when I began to really develop into a “people person”.

            I count Mark as one of the greatest gifts God has blessed me with on this earth. He is my rock, my very best friend, my soul mate for life. The one thing that Mark and I always agreed on in our relationship together was that when we each got married, it was only going to be once and it would be for life. Both of us had seen the effects of broken relationships and marriages first hand, and neither of us wanted to experience that. So, we made sure we were serious about our commitment to each other. Ready to make that lifetime promise to each other, on my 21^st birthday on July 25, 1981 Mark and I were married at Church of the Advent on Delaware Road in Kenmore. It was a beautiful sunny day, one of my very fondest memories. I remember when I pulled up in front of the church near to 4:00 PM, all I saw was a sea of friends standing in front of the church near the curb. They had all decided that none of them would go into the church until they got to see me first. This was an overwhelming moment for me to see the love, support and caring of so many people just for me. Our reception of about 225 guests was at the Hearthstone Manor which was a pure delight. What a special day this was for both of us! Almost 28 years later, I still count him as one of the greatest gifts God has blessed me with; it never ceases to amaze me that after all these years our love still has room to grow and just keeps getting better all the time. 

Stayed tuned for Chapter 2: Cathy moves to Atlanta and finds a new home, a new church and the arrival of her first child.